The Driver and Vehicle Licensing Authority has confirmed a long-held suspicion that there are indeed special rules for only a select few drivers, contained within the Highway Code handbook.

The stopping distance guide from the Highway Code. It is rumoured that this is
The stopping distance guide from the Highway Code. It is rumoured that this is “overly cautious” and that “special drivers” can stop much better than this because of their “mad skillz”.

In an announcement today, the DVLA admitted that these “easter eggs” were hiding in plain sight, and people who had taken the time to thoroughly read the whole manual would be able to decrypt the code to unearth the additional rules.

It comes weeks after a leaked memo confirms that fog lamps aren’t just for extremely foggy weather and are “perfectly acceptable on a mildly damp day”, and that those in the taxi driving industry have their own separate version of the highway code.

However, the authority was quick to stress that only those who had solved the clues and written to the DVLA would be permitted to use them, having a special code added to their license.

Whilst it wouldn’t confirm or deny specific details about these additional rules, a spokesperson for the DVLA added that they are “game-changers” for drivers, and that the idea was to ensure that people were reading the manual “cover-to-cover” and not just glossing over details, with the intention to generally improve people’s understanding of road rules.

The spokesperson added: “They’ve been in the handbook for several years, and we’ve found new ways to encrypt the clues in every new edition to keep people on their toes.

“Also, cyclists might want to buy a copy too because there are some exciting things in there too.”

Relief

Bob Copperthwaite, a Falkirk resident, expressed his relief today that there were indeed these additional special rules for only certain drivers, adding that it has restored his faith in humanity:

“I really thought these people were selfish pricks, doing whatever they felt because they thought they were above the rules. But now I see the error of my ways, and I’m going to try and get these privileges too.”

However, not everyone is happy about this news.

Detective Inspector James Brownlie, of Police Scotland’s Tayside division, has long campaigned to have these special rules removed from the handbook, stating that “it makes it harder for police to enforce road rules when there are separate rules for different people”.

Easter eggs

Whilst no one is able to fully confirm specific details of these secret rules, we were able to interview a man who was happy to comment on them.

Tyler Fitzpatrick, an Audi and tight chinos enthusiast, had this to say:

“Naturally, I don’t want to spoil it for everyone, but I have to say that having these additional privileges is just awesome.

“Basically, they effectively mean that the rest of the rules for regular drivers are optional. Speed limits, traffic lights, stopping distances, road markings – I can choose to do whatever I like if I feel like it.

“For instance, if there’s a traffic queue because of road work or rush hour, if I don’t feel like waiting in it, I’m allowed to simply drive past the queue and force my way in at the front. Some people say this just makes the queue last longer but I disagree – they should just get the additional rules too if they don’t like queues.

“Also, at night-time on a dual carriageway, I don’t need to dip my headlights for oncoming drivers or even those in front of me. It’s not a problem anyway because I’m allowed to do at least 20mph more than the speed limit and pass on the left if they’re in my way, so I pass them pretty quickly.

“It’s a timesaver too because it can really get in the way having to use my indicators at roundabouts and such, and having the ability to choose to not use them really saves seconds in my drive, which all mount up.”

“My wife is pretty happy too because she can fix her make-up in the rear view mirror without really caring about the hazard she is posing to other drivers around her.”

Mr Fitzpatrick went on to talk more about other privileges he had, which were lengthy, but we were able to confirm that hazard lights are officially a “park anywhere” pass, and that things like double yellow lines and lane markings on car parks or roundabouts don’t apply to these special drivers.

“I just wish the DVLA would give us special badges for our number plates so people could know we have these privileges. That would avoid so many police stops, people blasting their horns and near fights with irate drivers.”

Car manufacturers

Some car manufacturers have taken this on board and have started designing variations on their cars to accommodate. Range Rover spokeswoman Martha Van Diene confirmed that they will save time in the production process by eliminating unnecessary features for this market sector:

“It can be fiddly adding things like turning signals, wing mirrors and putting additional headlight brightness controls on our cars, which really clog up the production line process. We’re going to add an additional production line that specifically enables these models to be produced, which will save hours on the process. We like to keep our customers happy.”

Meanwhile, many councils across Scotland are contemplating adding spaces at their public car parks for these drivers, in addition to the electric car charging points, that will be “far easier to maintain” as they won’t need repainting on a regular basis.

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